This is how Mother's Day went for me. It's started off rough, but ended pretty good.
6:30am- Oliver comes into my room to show me his cool Tattoos he got Friday from his Subway kids meal. Jarred doesn't budge.
6:32am- After agreeing with him I send him back to bed. Jarred is dead to the world.
6:40am- Woken up by Oliver playing Wii with the volume way up. Jarred is still motionless.
7:00am- Oliver comes in the room again to announce that Simon smells like pee. I tell him he always smells like pee because he wears a diaper. I check to makes sure Jarred is breathing because he has still not moved.
7:30am- Oliver, always the over-reactor comes in to say that Simon is stinking up the whole house with his pee smell. I tell him that's impossible because I can't smell anything. Jarred...zzzzzzzzzzzz.
7:50am- I start wondering why Oliver is so anxious. Then I decide to get up, brush my teeth and go check on things. Jarred hasn't even rolled over yet.
8:00am- After my morning ritual I start to leave my room and then I smell it!
8:01am- I discover the reason for all the concern. Simon has pooped and played with it, but remember that my Little Simon is a thumb sucker. Yeah, try not to puke! Jarred is just now stirring.
8:03am- Simon is in the tub, clothes and all, getting ready for detoxification.
8:05am- I strip Simon's bed and open all the windows in the house. Oliver was right. Jarred comes down the hall, but because he's a little congested he has no idea how rancid the house is so he never comes to check on anything.
8:25am- Simon detoxification is complete, now I must move on to the detox of his bed and room. I inform Jarred that I hope something equally gross happens to him on Father's Day.
8:26am- Jarred clues in that something has just happened.
8:30am- I make waffles with Oliver. Jarred's still a little slow and comes to take over.
9:00am- Eat and get ready for church.
11:10am- Go to church late due to big fight with Oliver. He's been up since 6:30 so he needs a nap.
2:10pm- Arrive home from church, change my clothes, inform Jarred that no one is to talk to me for the rest of the day and I sit my butt on the couch and read my new Book while Jarred fixes dinner and tends to the kids. Awwwww............perfect!
6:30am- Oliver comes into my room to show me his cool Tattoos he got Friday from his Subway kids meal. Jarred doesn't budge.
6:32am- After agreeing with him I send him back to bed. Jarred is dead to the world.
6:40am- Woken up by Oliver playing Wii with the volume way up. Jarred is still motionless.
7:00am- Oliver comes in the room again to announce that Simon smells like pee. I tell him he always smells like pee because he wears a diaper. I check to makes sure Jarred is breathing because he has still not moved.
7:30am- Oliver, always the over-reactor comes in to say that Simon is stinking up the whole house with his pee smell. I tell him that's impossible because I can't smell anything. Jarred...zzzzzzzzzzzz.
7:50am- I start wondering why Oliver is so anxious. Then I decide to get up, brush my teeth and go check on things. Jarred hasn't even rolled over yet.
8:00am- After my morning ritual I start to leave my room and then I smell it!
8:01am- I discover the reason for all the concern. Simon has pooped and played with it, but remember that my Little Simon is a thumb sucker. Yeah, try not to puke! Jarred is just now stirring.
8:03am- Simon is in the tub, clothes and all, getting ready for detoxification.
8:05am- I strip Simon's bed and open all the windows in the house. Oliver was right. Jarred comes down the hall, but because he's a little congested he has no idea how rancid the house is so he never comes to check on anything.
8:25am- Simon detoxification is complete, now I must move on to the detox of his bed and room. I inform Jarred that I hope something equally gross happens to him on Father's Day.
8:26am- Jarred clues in that something has just happened.
8:30am- I make waffles with Oliver. Jarred's still a little slow and comes to take over.
9:00am- Eat and get ready for church.
11:10am- Go to church late due to big fight with Oliver. He's been up since 6:30 so he needs a nap.
2:10pm- Arrive home from church, change my clothes, inform Jarred that no one is to talk to me for the rest of the day and I sit my butt on the couch and read my new Book while Jarred fixes dinner and tends to the kids. Awwwww............perfect!
13 people were neglecting their kids:
Well at least the last half of the day was better and you didn't have to teach.
Sometimes guys are just too slow! I am so glad you gave yourself the rest of the day! Hopefully next year will be better!
Oh My SICK!!!!!!!! I will spend the next few days trying to erase that image from my mind.
Glad you had a good Mother's Afternoon.
Wow....I'm not sure how to respond to Simon's adventure....
It really is something what moms have to clean up sometimes, Yikes!
I'm glad you took your day back!
That sounds pretty groose. I'm sorry for you :(
I just bought "the host" today. I'm excited to read it. The bookstore where I bought the book gave me a flier for a pre-release "Vampire Prom" party in August for the release of Breaking Dawn. I KNOW you wanna go!!!!
I'm still trying to decide if punishment for a crappy Mother's Day is a crappy Father's Day or a fantastic Father's Day (to show him how it's really done!)
I was totally feeling your day! Glad you were able to get a *little* time to yourself!
Geez, what a mothers day. Guys can be so clueless most of the time it is unreal. I had a similar mothers day, but with out the poop thank goodness. I think you deserve some medal of valor or something for that. I love that you are so honest in your blogging, no sugar coating your experiences and how you truly felt. Love it!! makes me feel like I am normal and not the only one with those thoughts.
Since I'm so late to this comment column, hopefully you are laughing about this now. My youngest(also a thumbsucker) smeared his poo all over the place like that once too and it was about the nastiest detox process I've had to handle to date. What TERRIBLE timing! But you are hilarious in your accounts. Mother salutes should be a week long and preferably away from anything smaller than us. :D
Girlfriend, I can totally relate. The poop, the hubby - the whole bit. Now tell me - is The Host as amazing as Twilight because I just cannot get into it. I read like 2 pages on Stepheniemeyer.com and I just wasn't liking it. I was too stuck on Edward. Should I just give in and read it?
way to take control after all that shiz that happened in the morning. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the day...and Jarred...REALLY?!!!! That's it, I'm going to feed Simon 10 fiber one bars the night before Father's day and give Koe a bunch of sleeping pills!!!
ok that is hilarious..
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